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Horrible Things

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Horrible Things is Sacral's first release, recorded in the isolation and confusion of 2020. It would be a stretch to say that I know what I'm doing when it comes to recording music, but I knew a lot less then. All instruments were recorded via a 1/8" audio jack directly into my computer. No tracks are EQed, and all delay effects were done manually by copying and pasting audio clips.

"Terminal Apathy" reflects the way I felt while I was staying home, trying my best to keep my spirits up while minimizing any risk I posed to myself or others. It was a strange time. I lived with my partner and a mutual friend of ours, so I had people to spend time with. In the summer, we sat on the porch after work every day to have a couple beers and talk about how strange the world felt. I did yoga most days. We were cramming frozen tater tots into waffle irons just to try something interesting. We were making the best of it, but I watched a handful of selfish, obnoxious people decide for everyone else that absolutely zero precautions were needed in the face of a highly contagious pathogen that can kill or cause permanent damage. It was a realization that, in the face of disaster, there will always be some people who will choose their personal comfort and convenience over the needs of others. The song is a bit apocalyptic, maybe over-dramatic for the subject, but I do think that the idea of terminal apathy will be what eventually spells the end for the United States. Eventually, we'll meet a greater disaster, and there will be enough people who don't give a shit about others that we won't make it.

I had started writing "Celestial Overlord" before I chose the name Sacral. It was intended to be a death/doom song. I was listening to a lot of Abyssal at the time. As it turns out, I can't do vocals that low. It's about religious abuse--particuly the abuse of queer youth at the hands of religious organizations and religious parents, but also how the Christian god's jealous nature and threats of eternal torment are abusive in and of themselves. We're all imperfect, nobody can ever attain the purity that so many religions demand of us. I think people who become obsessed with their own lack of purity become like witch hunters, seeking out and obsessing over what they consider to be the filth sullying the souls of other people. In reality, the filth they see is just normal human behavior, as varied and diverse as it's always been.

"Communion in Reverse" is about the lie of trickle-down economics. Propping up those who already have everything has become like a religious ritual in late-stage capitalism. Our rulers have convinced so many of us that, as the economy gets more and more hostile to working class people, the only solution is to give more money to the wealthiest people on the planet. In the US, we've been doing this since the 80s, and things have only been getting steadily worse since then. In this way, the pseudo-religious communion of capitalism is reversed. Rather than being invited to receive food and drink, and thus receive salvation, we've been tricked into thinking that giving up what little we have to the gods of capital will somehow save us.

Richard Dawkins is generally a huge prick, and when he has something to say that's not related to evolutionary biology, there's like a 90% chance that it's dumb as shit. But in one of those instances where he wasn't being a total knob, he said something to the effect of "we're the lucky ones, because we get to exist." That's stuck with me over the years. In my lowest moments, I've remembered it. Life is the only thing that can hurt you, but it's the only thing that can bring you joy, too. You have all of eternity to not exist, and if you're lucky, upwards of 100 years to exist. My personal philosophy is completely atheistic--I don't think the universe has any greater consciousness, and if it does, I think it would be indifferent to us. The universe is one vast chemical reaction, and human beings are the byproducts of the byproducts of the byproducts of that reaction. We're like the solar flares that leap from the sun, only to crash back into it. We're victims of the utter chaos of the universe, but we're also part of it. "Teeth of the Universe" is an attempt to reckon with, and convey that philosophy. We're sparks in the dark, and maybe coming to terms with that can make the universe's teeth a little less sharp.

All instruments, vocals, and drum programming by Ash.
Cover art by Ash.

Released January 14, 2021.